Well...on my first day home (wonderfully, gloriously home) I stayed up kinda late talking with my darling mother. She finally finished the absurd amount of baking she had assigned herself for that day when we both heard a loud sound, rather like a nuclear blast but louder.
Our fully decorated, fully lit, twelve-foot-high Christmas tree had made a desperate bid for freedom and fallen into the middle of the family room floor. Over a dozen delicate glass ornaments were the civilian casualties of the conflict, and Mom and I were up until 2:30 cleaning up the mess.
I therefore deduced that out Christmas tree is a Communist. Since it is coniferous, it could easily have come from the frozen wastelands of Eastern Russia. Since it did its level best to destroy my Christmas cheer and high spirits, it must be a Godless, capitalism-envying, bitter Communist, bent on destroying everything I hold dear. We have since restrained it with several lengths of string and fishing line, secure in our knowledge that the catastrophe will not be repeated.
The Russian government continues to maintain that they had nothing to do with the scandal. This obvious falsehood has sparked a controversy within the Soviet government. The ChristmasTreeGate scandal will doubtless go down in history as the event which sparked the beginning of the end for Soviet Russia.
Merry Christmas!
Hilarious tyson you are too funny
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