I have many brothers. They are very enthusiastic and spirited people, and it is my unsworn duty to prevent them from running wild and destroying a small nation. Since they cannot be coerced by threats of death, torture, disembowelment, or loss of candy, and cannot be bribed with money, fame, power, or computer games, I must of necessity resort to Aggressive Pacification in order to maintain peace in our time.
However, I cannot simply lay them out with one good 'ol haymaker, because then I look like a bully and my parents use...ah..."moral suasion" to cause me to desist. Thusly, we get
"WEEEEEE!!! I'm going to shoot a BB gun at pressurized cans next to a candle!"
*POW*
"Cut it out peon...er, sibling! That's dangerous!"
"WAAAAHH! MOOOOOOOM! Tyson hit me!"
"Tyson! Don't be a bully! You're more mature than that!"
*Kachink-BOOM!"
"What was that, Tyson?"
"I dunno. Definitely not a pressurized can getting hit by a BB then exploding into a raging fragmentation firebomb."
Unacceptable.
So for all you older brothers and sisters out there, here's a tip: learn a few pressure points. Neck, ear, underside of the arm, instep, inguinal region, whatever, learn a few places that really hurt when poked or squeezed. That way it's less obvious that you are...ah...pacifying your dear little brothers and sisters
"WEEEEE! I'm going to light matches around the gas line!"
*poke*
"YEEEEAARRGH!"
"Don't light matches around the gas line peon! It's dangerous!"
"MOOOOM!!! Tyson poked me!"
"Tyson! Don't be a bully. You're more mature than that!"
*KABOOM!*
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anyway...
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